Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:33:28 GMT, Bill Hayles
wrote:

It probably happened with Ashford to Ashford (for which I remember
seeing a ticket from one to the other) and Gillingham to Gillingham, but
I can't recall a real life example.

That latter one happened to me. At first the guy thought I said
"Twickenham"!

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:33:28 GMT, Bill Hayles
wrote:

I remember meny years ago as a teenager trying to get a ticket to
Chelsfield (where I lived) and being issued with one to Chestfield,
which I'm sure occasionally gets confused with Chesterfield and so life
goes on.

"Chester 1, Chesterfield 1. Another draw there in the local derby" --
D. Lynham.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In article ,
James Farrar wrote:
I remember meny years ago as a teenager trying to get a ticket to
Chelsfield (where I lived) and being issued with one to Chestfield,
which I'm sure occasionally gets confused with Chesterfield and so life
goes on.

"Chester 1, Chesterfield 1. Another draw there in the local derby" --
D. Lynham.

It may be apochryphal, but I read of the Scottish radio presenter who had
problems with
Forfar 5 East Fife 4.

--
David Wild using RISC OS on broadband

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:04:40 +0000 (GMT),
wrote:

In article ,
James Farrar wrote:
I remember meny years ago as a teenager trying to get a ticket to
Chelsfield (where I lived) and being issued with one to Chestfield,
which I'm sure occasionally gets confused with Chesterfield and so life
goes on.

"Chester 1, Chesterfield 1. Another draw there in the local derby" --
D. Lynham.

It may be apochryphal, but I read of the Scottish radio presenter who had
problems with
Forfar 5 East Fife 4.

http://members.tripod.com/~corstorphine/questions.htm

"As far as I can trace, the only score line similar to this in matches
between East Fife and Forfar was Forfar 5 East Fife 4 in a Division
Two match on 22 April 1964."

My favourite apochryphal football score is:

Wolves 8
A cheese roll and had a cup of tea 2.

:)

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:04:40 +0000 (GMT),
wrote:

In article ,
James Farrar wrote:
I remember meny years ago as a teenager trying to get a ticket to
Chelsfield (where I lived) and being issued with one to Chestfield,
which I'm sure occasionally gets confused with Chesterfield and so life
goes on.

"Chester 1, Chesterfield 1. Another draw there in the local derby" --
D. Lynham.

It may be apochryphal, but I read of the Scottish radio presenter who had
problems with
Forfar 5 East Fife 4.

Here is a half time sco

Manchester United 2

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message .com, Ken
wrote:

On 27 Feb, 19:22, Christopher A.Lee wrote:

And there are the AMerican tourists used to dropping "Street", "Road"
etc.

When they ask for "Baker" it's obvious, but "Oxford"? Even "Edgware"?


I once spent ages as a new booking clerk explaining to an American
lady how to change stations in London to Paddington, change again at
Swindon, and then, after several hours, you'll get to Gloucester. I
printed off her itinerary, showed her on the map, and told her the
fare was about GBP50. And then she said "That's near the Kensington
High Street, right?". "Aaagh! You want Gloucester ROAD!".

And of course when CT ran through to Liverpool (Lime St) you got,
every day, "this the Liverpool train?". "No, do you want the City of
Liverpool, or London Liverpool Street?" "Liverpool, Liverpool. I want
go Liverpool station". And so it went on.

And I had to convice a booking clerk once that I a wanted a ticket to
Beeston, rather than Leeds.

Not to mention Ely vs. Ealing, or, my favourite, a Nigerian lady plus
2 kids who asked me for a ticket (in London) to "Te'fo'd". So I sold
her SVRs to Telford and sent her off to Euston, telling her "Change at
Wolverhampton". Two hours later she came back. "I wanted a ticket to
"TEHT-ford, T-H-E-T-F-O-R-D". Oops.

Last week I resorted to pointing on a map to get over to a booking clerk at
Brusells Central that it was Braine-l'Alleud I wanted a ticket to. I wonder
how many tourists go to Waterloo looking for the battlefield, or mix it up
with another Waterloo.


Ken

--
OpenPGP key fingerprint: D0A6 F403 9745 CED4 6B3B 94CC 8D74 8FC9 9F7F CFE4
No to software patents! Victory to the iraqi resistance!

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:35:48 GMT, Helen Deborah Vecht
wrote:

Bill Hayles typed


One confusion that happened on several occasions was people arriving at
Hayes (Kent) wanting Hayes (Middlesex).

I saw that when I travelled to Orpington Hospital, where I worked at the
time. Very unhappy passenger, very late for appointment...

I remember meny years ago as a teenager trying to get a ticket to
Chelsfield

so close to my old workplace...

.... where my family was told I had 48 hours to live in 1973, and where
the doctors and nurses then pulled off a miracle to prove themselves
wrong, which is why I'm still here pestering you all today (it's all
documented on my website.)


--
Bill Hayles
http://www.rossrail.com

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message , Christopher A.
Lee writes
And there are the AMerican tourists used to dropping "Street", "Road"
etc.

When they ask for "Baker" it's obvious, but "Oxford"?

See my previously quoted tale here regarding finding a charming American
couple wandering around Oxford looking for Selfridge's. They;d been
bundled on an Oxford Tube (or whatever it was in those days) coach by a
helpful passer by!

Then there's Tutankhamen (meaning the British Museum; yes, really) v
Tooting Common.
--
Ian Jelf, MITG
Birmingham, UK

Registered Blue Badge Tourist Guide for London and the Heart of England
http://www.bluebadge.demon.co.uk

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
I've been sent to Farnham when the interviewee was in Fareham. Oh how we
laffed!

We had a sub-editor who was renowned for these sort of mistakes by the name
of Mark Bayliss. One good one was being sent to cover the Orient Express
visiting Weymouth. I'd actually covered the story the previous week so we
had a gentle drive down to Weymouth, a good lunch and then phoned into the
office to find where the train had got to. The girl in the newsroom looked
on her computer and came back with 'You've been Baylissed!' Apparently he
was sat behind her at the time.

Out of interest, where was the Orient Express at the time?
--
Ian Jelf, MITG
Birmingham, UK

Registered Blue Badge Tourist Guide for London and the Heart of England
http://www.bluebadge.demon.co.uk

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message , Christopher A.
Lee writes
Here is a half time sco

Manchester United 2

I believe that was on a local BBC bulletin here in the Midlands in about
1975.

(Why do I always find myself posting about broadcasting matters in
transport newsgroups and transport matters in broadcasting newsgroups?)
--
Ian Jelf, MITG
Birmingham, UK

Registered Blue Badge Tourist Guide for London and the Heart of England
http://www.bluebadge.demon.co.uk

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message
Ian Jelf wrote:

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
I've been sent to Farnham when the interviewee was in Fareham. Oh how we
laffed!

We had a sub-editor who was renowned for these sort of mistakes by the
name of Mark Bayliss. One good one was being sent to cover the Orient
Express visiting Weymouth. I'd actually covered the story the previous
week so we had a gentle drive down to Weymouth, a good lunch and then
phoned into the office to find where the train had got to. The girl in
the newsroom looked on her computer and came back with 'You've been
Baylissed!' Apparently he was sat behind her at the time.

Out of interest, where was the Orient Express at the time?

I assume somewhere between Victoria and Dover as normal.

The Weymouth trip was a charter by Sealink in conjunction with the renaming
of a ferry.

--
Graeme Wall
This address is not read, substitute trains for rail.
Transport Miscellany at http://www.greywall.demon.co.uk/rail/index.html

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
In message
Ian Jelf wrote:

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
I've been sent to Farnham when the interviewee was in Fareham. Oh how we
laffed!

We had a sub-editor who was renowned for these sort of mistakes by the
name of Mark Bayliss. One good one was being sent to cover the Orient
Express visiting Weymouth. I'd actually covered the story the previous
week so we had a gentle drive down to Weymouth, a good lunch and then
phoned into the office to find where the train had got to. The girl in
the newsroom looked on her computer and came back with 'You've been
Baylissed!' Apparently he was sat behind her at the time.

Out of interest, where was the Orient Express at the time?

I assume somewhere between Victoria and Dover as normal.

Oh I see what you mean. It does go elsewhere, though. I usually
encounter it in Maidenhead (en route to Windsor) or Stafford (en route
to Ironbridge or the Potteries).
--
Ian Jelf, MITG
Birmingham, UK

Registered Blue Badge Tourist Guide for London and the Heart of England
http://www.bluebadge.demon.co.uk

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Thu, 1 Mar 2007 16:16:43 +0000, Ian Jelf
wrote:

In message , Christopher A.
Lee writes
Here is a half time sco

Manchester United 2

I believe that was on a local BBC bulletin here in the Midlands in about
1975.

(Why do I always find myself posting about broadcasting matters in
transport newsgroups and transport matters in broadcasting newsgroups?)

I heard it several times on different programs including I'm Sorry
I'll Read That Again, The Two Ronnies and Not The Nine O'Clock News.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

In message
Ian Jelf wrote:

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
In message
Ian Jelf wrote:

In message , Graeme Wall
writes
I've been sent to Farnham when the interviewee was in Fareham. Oh how
we laffed!

We had a sub-editor who was renowned for these sort of mistakes by
the name of Mark Bayliss. One good one was being sent to cover the
Orient Express visiting Weymouth. I'd actually covered the story the
previous week so we had a gentle drive down to Weymouth, a good lunch
and then phoned into the office to find where the train had got to.
The girl in the newsroom looked on her computer and came back with
'You've been Baylissed!' Apparently he was sat behind her at the
time.

Out of interest, where was the Orient Express at the time?

I assume somewhere between Victoria and Dover as normal.

Oh I see what you mean. It does go elsewhere, though. I usually
encounter it in Maidenhead (en route to Windsor) or Stafford (en route
to Ironbridge or the Potteries).

This was a long time ago, 1985. They'd only just started using the set for
journeys other than as part the service to Venice.

--
Graeme Wall
This address is not read, substitute trains for rail.
Transport Miscellany at http://www.greywall.demon.co.uk/rail/index.html

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

"Peter Masson" writes:

Bill Hayles has a lovely story of confusion between Oval and Yeovil. ;-)

The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

Then there are always the people who arrive in Leeds (Yorkshire)
looking for the castle (Kent).

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

Graham Murray wrote:
"Peter Masson" writes:

Bill Hayles has a lovely story of confusion between Oval and Yeovil. ;-)

The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

Then there are always the people who arrive in Leeds (Yorkshire)
looking for the castle (Kent).

Someone else posted here of the search for "Fort Neath". Of course, what
they really wanted was "Thornton Heath" :-)

--
MatSav

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.




A woman with an eastern european accent once stopped me in Paddington
underground station, and asked how she could get to Sweden. I soon
discovered that she meant Swindon.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Mar 3, 6:18 pm, "chris" wrote:
The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

A woman with an eastern european accent once stopped me in Paddington
underground station, and asked how she could get to Sweden. I soon
discovered that she meant Swindon.



A former colleague, who was approached by a blonde lady in pub who was
from Sweden, thought that she was from Swindon.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

MIG wrote:
On Mar 3, 6:18 pm, "chris" wrote:
The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.
A woman with an eastern european accent once stopped me in Paddington
underground station, and asked how she could get to Sweden. I soon
discovered that she meant Swindon.



A former colleague, who was approached by a blonde lady in pub who was
from Sweden, thought that she was from Swindon.


Must have been her accent

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

"MIG" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Mar 3, 6:18 pm, "chris" wrote:
The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

A woman with an eastern european accent once stopped me in Paddington
underground station, and asked how she could get to Sweden. I soon
discovered that she meant Swindon.



A former colleague, who was approached by a blonde lady in pub who was
from Sweden, thought that she was from Swindon.

Cue the Diana Dors joke:

quote

According to Dors autobiography, she was once asked and readily
agreed to open a fete in her home town of Swindon, England. Prior
to the festivities, Dors lunched with the local Vicar, during which
she informed him that her real name was Diana Fluck. The Vicar
became somewhat worried about his planned speech. After lunch,
they arrived at the fete at the appointed time. The Vicar, totally
unnerved about mispronouncing "Fluck", introduced Diana with these
immortal words:

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce
to you our star guest. We all love her, especially as she is our
local girl. I therefore feel it right to introduce her by her real
name; Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the very lovely
Miss Diana Clunt."

/quote

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_Dors


michael adams

....

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

Graham Murray wrote:

The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

I've heard that one too, although at Waterloo and presumably hoping to get a
train through the channel tunnel.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Sun, 4 Mar 2007 02:57:08 -0000, "Tim Roll-Pickering"
wrote:

Graham Murray wrote:

The best one (possibly apocryphal) I have heard was a foreign woman at
Paddington who wanted to get to Turkey (presumably via Heathrow) but
was sold a ticket and put on the train to Torquay.

I've heard that one too, although at Waterloo and presumably hoping to get a
train through the channel tunnel.

When I booked from Liverpule Street via the Hook Continental I asked
for specific cities.

Southall - Zonal fare rip-off?
 

On Feb 28, 11:11 am, Paul Terry wrote:
In message , Bill Hayles
writes

It probably happened with Ashford to Ashford (for which I remember
seeing a ticket from one to the other) and Gillingham to Gillingham, but
I can't recall a real life example.

I've certainly suffered the Gillingham confusion, although not by train.
A couple of years ago I was working in Canterbury for a client for a
week, and was told that I'd need to pop up the road to Gillingham one
afternoon. Despite being pronounced with a soft G it turned out to be a
return drive to Dorset :(
--
Paul Terry

I once heard a story (again probably apocryphal) of a passenger
complaining to BR (as was) about some problems she had had at
Teignmouth station and receiving a reply which referred her to the
Tyne and Wear Metro as the correct organisation to complain to. Mind
you, at one time, the recorded announcements at Woking (and possibly
elsewhere) used to pronounce "Teignmouth" as "Tynemouth", so heaven
help the poor passengers!