Kingsley Matthews wrote:
Most of the old nationalised industries were ok. My business
recently moved into new premises, we had to notify 3 organisations to
get our gas connected. In the old days we just notified one, and
they say that privatisation cuts bureaucracy.


There was a power cut in the pub where I was (plus most of the street)
last Saturday. The manager was busy switching off alarms and doing pubby
things, so he asked me to get on tho the electricity people and find out
when it was likely to come back on. Old-style it would have gone like this:

I ring directory enquiries and ask for the number of the London
Electricity Board.

I ring the number and ask the person at the other end about the power cut.

The end. Total time (estimated): about seven minutes.

With the new "improved" privatised industry it went like this.

I ring directory enquiries and ask for the number of Powergen (who are
the pople who send the bill).

I call the number and am presented with a "dial 1 for this, dial 2 for
that, dial 3 for the other" menu.

I dial 1 ("Problems with your electricity supply"), and get, yes,
another menu inviting me to dial 1, 2, 3 and so on.

I dial 1 again.

I get a recorded message telling me that I should ring my local supplier
(who is, in fact, Powergen, remember?) and the number's on the back of
the bill.
Which I didn't have.

Try again. Ring the number for Powergen.

Choose from their bliddy menu at random.

Get a robot telling me that since I'm calling from a mobile they don't
know where I am, so I need to put in the phone number of the place where
I am. Which I didn't know (I could have told a human *exactly* where I
was). Make up a phone number that fits the area where I am. Then the
damn thing asks me to speak my postcode. Which I gave it (I have no
idea why I knew it!). Then it asks me for the street. By this time
I've had enough. Start shouting "shut up" at the phone until it starts
saying "I did not catch what you said - please hold and you will be put
through to an operator". Wahey! A human!

Who was of no help at all, but gave me another number to call.

Call the number which turns out to be for (of all things) EDF -
Electricité de France.

Wait in a queue for "the next available operator" for ten minutes.

Wahey! Another human!

Who was unaware that there was a power cut but did spend a large amount
of time warning me (despite my protestations that there were at least
six other properties affected that I knew about) that there might be a
charge for a callout. I'm just surprised she didn't try to sell me
shares in ED Flaming F while she was about it.

Total time, some 40 minutes. Total raise in blood pressu lots.
Improvement over the old, clapped out, monolithic system, nil.

I'm sure the shareholders love it, though. Thank God I wasn't trying to
report a gas leak.

--
Tony