A major flood hit on Monday evening .

Epicent Rotherham, England.

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000
racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly
muttering "fookinhell" and "chuffinnorah".

The flood decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearic Isles and the
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical
burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station
RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something
interesting had happened in Rotherham. One resident, 15 year old mother
of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins,
Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was watching Kilroy the next morning". Locals were determined not
to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities
of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher.

Can You Help?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the
victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all, especially
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sports socks
Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark


Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
efforts will make a difference.

Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember:
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
75p buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
£5.50 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's
nerves


Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing
will cause residents to believe they have been forcibly relocated to
Sheffield


--
Edward Cowling "Must Go - Eternity Beckons !!"

Edward Cowling London UK wrote:
A major flood hit on Monday evening .

Epicent Rotherham, England.

You could only get away with that on uk.t.l

On Jul 10, 7:46 pm, Edward Cowling London UK
wrote:

One resident, 15 year old mother
of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins,
Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was watching Kilroy the next morning".

The mentions of Madonna, Storm and above all Kilroy - does anyone
remember him? - shows that this is a rehash of a very old posting,
probably much older than http://groups.google.co.uk/group/uk....6fa5e63524384f
in 2003 where it was about Barnstaple.
FYI, Jeremy Kyle is now the daytime show these people watch. There was
also no mention of The Chuckle Brothers, who would be most annoyed.

"Offramp" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Jul 10, 7:46 pm, Edward Cowling London UK
wrote:

One resident, 15 year old mother
of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins,
Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was watching Kilroy the next morning".

The mentions of Madonna, Storm and above all Kilroy - does anyone
remember him? - shows that this is a rehash of a very old posting,
probably much older than
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/uk....6fa5e63524384f
in 2003 where it was about Barnstaple.
FYI, Jeremy Kyle is now the daytime show these people watch. There was
also no mention of The Chuckle Brothers, who would be most annoyed.


I have never heard of RotherFM I thought it was Hallam FM?

On Jul 10, 7:46 pm, Edward Cowling London UK
wrote:

A major flood hit on Monday evening .

Epicent Rotherham, England.

Do floods have epicentres? I suppose the ones that come out of the
ground like fountains do.

Offramp wrote:
On Jul 10, 7:46 pm, Edward Cowling London UK
wrote:

A major flood hit on Monday evening .

Epicent Rotherham, England.

Do floods have epicentres? I suppose the ones that come out of the
ground like fountains do.


"The epicenter or epicentre (ancient Greek: ??????????) is the point on the
Earth's surface that is directly above the point where an earthquake or
other underground explosion originates. The epicenter is directly above the
hypocenter, the actual location of the energy release inside the earth."

So even a flood from underground can't really have an epicentre.

In message , John Rowland
writes

Do floods have epicentres? I suppose the ones that come out of the
ground like fountains do.


"The epicenter or epicentre (ancient Greek: ??????????) is the point on the
Earth's surface that is directly above the point where an earthquake or
other underground explosion originates. The epicenter is directly above the
hypocenter, the actual location of the energy release inside the earth."

So even a flood from underground can't really have an epicentre.

And the fact that the little story that the OP posted gets wheeled out
for many events of this nature. I read a very, very similar version a
number of months ago when there was the earthquake in Kent (I think it
was) and I've certainly also read the same style message about some
extreme event in Essex. I'm sure there's a few here might be able to
put Kent and/or Essex perceived caricatures with the story told and see
where it first came from.

A few details are changed to suit the particular circumstances;
otherwise it's the same old stuff regurgitated.
--
Steve Fitzgerald has now left the building.
You will find him in London's Docklands, E16, UK
(please use the reply to address for email)

Steve Fitzgerald wrote:
In message , John Rowland
writes

Do floods have epicentres? I suppose the ones that come out of the
ground like fountains do.


"The epicenter or epicentre (ancient Greek: ??????????) is the point
on the
Earth's surface that is directly above the point where an earthquake or
other underground explosion originates. The epicenter is directly
above the
hypocenter, the actual location of the energy release inside the earth."

So even a flood from underground can't really have an epicentre.

And the fact that the little story that the OP posted gets wheeled out
for many events of this nature. I read a very, very similar version a
number of months ago when there was the earthquake in Kent (I think it
was) and I've certainly also read the same style message about some
extreme event in Essex. I'm sure there's a few here might be able to
put Kent and/or Essex perceived caricatures with the story told and see
where it first came from.

A few details are changed to suit the particular circumstances;
otherwise it's the same old stuff regurgitated.


And all it shows us is that the OP is witless, stupid, callous,
insensitive, and a snob. Not necessarily in that order.


--

Stephen

ANYA: We should drop a piano on her. Well, it always works for that
creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the
speech impediment.
GILES: Yes, or perhaps we could paint a convincing tunnel on the side
of a mountain.